Codependency occurs when another individual is affected and ultimately controlled by the addict’s addictive behavior. Codependency is a learned behavior that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction”. Addiction is commonly believed to be related to alcohol and drugs, but now can be attributed to food, sex, gambling, anger, emotional problems or video gaming. Codependents gradually allow the addict to define reality. Loved ones try love, acceptance, security, and approval but have to adapt these behaviors in a way that the addict wishes. This excessive care giving behavior tends to foster even more dependency on the part of the addict. Codependence is helping someone who is choosing not to help themselves.
Enabling behavior occurs when a codependent helps or encourages the addict to stop but inadvertently inspires the addict to continue using drugs, either directly or indirectly. Examples of individuals involved in enabling behavior are a spouse hiding the addict’s disease from neighbors or extended family. Another is finding the addict’s alcohol or pornography or food and destroying it which only causes the addict to verbally commit to stop, but in reality they continue and learn to hide their paraphernalia better.
Persons are codependent because they protect addicts from the consequences of their behavior. By doing this the addict is unable to learn where the addiction can take them. He has not had to face life in the streets or the loss of his family. These addicts are loved by their parents, significant others and children who do not want to lose them to disease, homelessness and, possibly, death. Loved ones want peace in the relationships, don’t want anger, and are blamed for the addict’s problems, experience guilt and low self-esteem which cause them to try to help the addicts even more. The irony is their love and behavior towards him could lead to the very consequences they fear. Therefore, the way they protect and nurture the addict also nurtures the addiction. This is codependence. Loving someone so much we literally love them to death.
If you want to address these issues and live a better life please join us as we will be starting an 8 week program to address codependency. Participants must be willing to participate for the entire 8-week course in order to maintain the cohesiveness of the group process. If you see that you will not be able to fulfill the 8 weeks, please do not sign up for this group. Group will begin in March 2016 and meet each Thursday night from 6:00pm – 9:00pm . The group will be limited to ensure healthy recovery processes.
Topics to be addressed will be:
- Investments in healthy vs. toxic relationships
- Specific behaviors that aren’t working and what will work
- Anger and Resentment issues
- Control issues and Compliance patterns
- Intimacy problems
- Avoidance of feelings
- Hyper vigilance
- Caretaking behaviors
- Low self-esteem patterns
- Physical and emotional illness (related to stress)
Please call our offices at 210-541-8400 to schedule an appointment to start the program.